As a 15 year old coming to terms with conflicting feelings of sexuality and identity, Jake Sky encountered bullying and victimisation rather than the support and encouragement a confused and lonely teenager should have expected.
Jake grew up in a family with serious relationship issues, including a mother who had a violent partner and sisters who were taken into care following accusations of abuse.
“When I was 12, there was an argument at home which led mum to leave our step dad,” Jake recalls.
“We packed some bags and fled to a friend’s house and were put into emergency accommodation by social services. We then moved temporarily into a women’s refuge together and then into a council house where my older sisters could come back to live with us.
“A few months later, though, my Mum attempted suicide – she was hospitalised and me and my sisters were taken into care by social services.”
At first the siblings were placed into a care home but then they moved into the foster system and as Jake reached adolescence and a greater understanding of individual sexuality, there was also a first experience of the negativity those feelings that can create.
“I did experience homophobic attitudes and one kid in particular started to bully me,” Jake explains.
“I now identify as non-binary and pansexual but at 15 I was still figuring things out for myself and the homophobia I experienced led me to have a sort of emotional breakdown.
“Things came to a head on a holiday where a quarrel started, things got really heated and I ran off for eight hours – they had the police helicopters out and the dogs, everybody out looking for me!
“After that there were a fair few months of being nervy and scared all the time because I was really afraid I would be attacked but eventually I did get placed elsewhere and things were a lot better.”
Jake remained in the foster care system until the age of 20, at which point they applied for their own local authority flat in Sheffield, where they now live with the support and encouragement of the Roundabout Supporting Tenants programme.
“The Supporting Tenants project provide me with a one to one support worker who helps me with all sorts of things, such as working on my mental health, finding employment and managing finances,” Jake explains.
At the same time, Jake has also gained some valuable Open Awards Level 2 qualifications in maths, drama, safety stewarding and, most importantly for the moment, peer mentoring.
It’s that qualification that has paved the way for Jake to become part of the Roundabout Peer Education project, going into schools to talk to young people about homelessness and the personal experiences of the care system and understanding the complexities of sexuality.
“Being non-binary for me means that you don’t see yourself as any one gender,” Jake says.
“I am okay with my physical gender but I just don’t like labelling gender – I don’t see why I should.
“We talk about all the different services that Roundabout offers to help prevent young people becoming homeless but then we’ll have a question and answer session and I’ll always be asked about my sexuality.
“That’s fine and I think it’s good for kids if they are asking questions, to figure out where they are in the LGBTQ+ community.
“There are some people who don’t figure it out until they are in their 70s, 80s, 90s but by talking and sharing my story we are breaking down those barriers that people face.
“There are also Sheffield charities like SAYiT which offers an inclusive safe environment where the sexual, emotional and mental wellbeing needs of LGBTQ+ young people are supported – that’s been very good to me.
“Now I’d like a part time job so I can be more secure financially but I still have time for my mental health, seeing my family and continuing with peer education because I am enjoying meeting young people and sharing my experiences.”